{"id":235,"date":"2009-08-14T21:40:45","date_gmt":"2009-08-14T21:40:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/annetylerlord.com\/?p=235"},"modified":"2009-08-14T21:40:45","modified_gmt":"2009-08-14T21:40:45","slug":"redflame-deepwater-pt-3-becoming-invisible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/2009\/08\/14\/redflame-deepwater-pt-3-becoming-invisible\/","title":{"rendered":"RedFlame DeepWater (pt.3): Becoming Invisible"},"content":{"rendered":"

After the RedFlame Initiates Destruction<\/a> in your life and you Return to the Scene<\/a> to see if you can rebuild what you had, you may realize that it isn’t possible. On the spiritual path, we are given opportunities to grow in awareness, often through painful experiences. During those times, we have the choice to go forward into the \u201cdark night of the soul,\u201d or go back, denying ourselves and Spirit. The path to spiritual growth is not all lights, bells and whistles. It can be excruciating as we encounter our ego on the path of pain and suffering. It can be agonizing as we are given challenging situations and choices.<\/p>\n

Regardless of the point we find ourselves in spiritual practice, we continue to be challenged to uncover deeper awareness. And, one of the most difficult stages may be when we are asked to give up our sacred attachments that we may not have identified until they are exposed through the fire of deeper awakening.<\/p>\n

When we are courageous enough to listen to the deep knowing, and go forward by giving up the attachments, it is the experience of death. Death of identity, death of security, death of hopes, dreams, feelings and thoughts that were part of our Self that needs to die. These are things that others identify us with \u2013 it is \u201cwho we are\u201d to the world. If these things must go away, who are we? From a spiritual perspective, we know the answer. But, even with a long-term spiritual practice, these times can be challenging. For we often think we are beyond such experiences if we see ourselves as fairly \u201cenlightened.\u201d In actuality, it is important to embrace these times to move forward, not backwards into what we think is our spiritual identity \u2013 that is just an ego identity also.<\/p>\n

Becoming Invisible<\/em><\/strong> is what it can feel like to let go of things we hang our identity on. I have recently had to let go of my career aspirations, labels of personal identity, friends, financial security, projects, opportunities for recognition, conference presentations, a practice helping others, book projects, and several personal beliefs about what I can do, should do, what constitutes who I am, and what it means to be compassionate with myself and others. It doesn’t make logical sense to throw out the baby with the bathwater, but a Deep Knowing has told me that it was all necessary. I must then do it, give it all up, freely, with no promises of greater things to replace those that were given up.<\/p>\n

RedFlame DeepWater<\/strong>
\nPart 3<\/h2>\n

\"fireandwater\"<\/h3>\n

Becoming Invisible<\/em><\/h3>\n

\"walking-alone-in-the-dark\"<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering,
\nI see death is everywhere.
\nDeath of things, hopes & dreams,
\nMemories of Identity
\nheld so dearly,
\nWorn like a coat,
\nI thought would never wear out.
\nGood deeds & service to others,
\nbeautiful possessions and good relationships.
\nThe good & beautiful
\ntaken by the flame equally with the bad,
\nleft only with the truth of letting go –
\nheard in my heart, but not accepted by my mind.<\/p>\n

I am overwhelmed with the view,
\nand I notice others nearby,
\nstuck in shock, crying & screaming
\nin their own pain.<\/p>\n

\"WalkingDark3\"Unbelievable is the sight,
\nof others walking a nearby path,
\nwalking right by, our pain and despair,
\nsome blind and unaware,
\nothers turn quickly to avoid seeing us.
\nAnd, those worst of all –
\nlook directly & see, without flinching,
\ncontinuing to walk by, unmoved
\nby the pain & destruction experienced by all of us.
\nWas I ever like that? When I had it all? Distracted?<\/p>\n

\"521860226_m\"Maybe help will come later –
\nfor the others that stay,
\nbut I must go…
\nI want to let go of my
\ncare
\nfor things so easily
\ndestroyed.
\nIt hurts too much to care deeply
\nand now there is nothing to
\ncare about.
\nI leave \u2013 let go \u2013 I can take
\nno more pain.<\/p>\n

Time to go back to the Dark Place<\/strong>,
\nI saw briefly.
\nSurely relief will be there
\nAway from this loss and ugliness.<\/p>\n

\"Dark_Father_II_by_Karezoid\"Going into the Dark Place<\/strong>, I realize-
\nI have become invisible-
\nto those who strive, succeed and produce.
\nI do not look the same-
\nto those who previously knew me.
\nI repel
\nthose who look at externals & want a performance.
\nI do not know
\nhow to engage
\nthat energy, anymore.<\/p>\n

I have nothing
\nleft to offer
\nthose I sought
\nto impress.
\nI have nothing
\nto offer
\nthe smart & successful.
\nI have
\nno-thing.<\/p>\n

\"Unloveable\"Will I be unloveable?
\nUn-cared for?
\nUn-cared about?
\nWho is left?
\nTo care, to talk to, to engage,
\nSuch an empty life.<\/p>\n

Becoming Invisible,
\nCan I ever have
\nanything
\nto contribute
\nagain?<\/p>\n

For now, I will stay in this Dark Place,
\nwhere no one can see me.<\/p>\n

The next poem in the RedFlame DeepWater<\/strong> series is called, Dark Places: Retreat<\/a><\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After the RedFlame Initiates Destruction in your life and you Return to the Scene to see if you can rebuild what you had, you may realize that it isn’t possible. On the spiritual path, we are given opportunities to grow in awareness, often through painful experiences. During those times, we have the choice to go […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[97,100,141,155],"class_list":["post-235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-dark-night-of-the-soul","tag-difficult-times","tag-poetry","tag-spirituality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}