{"id":219,"date":"2009-07-31T16:35:06","date_gmt":"2009-07-31T16:35:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/annetylerlord.com\/?p=219"},"modified":"2009-07-31T16:35:06","modified_gmt":"2009-07-31T16:35:06","slug":"redflame-deepwater-pt-2-return-to-the-scene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/2009\/07\/31\/redflame-deepwater-pt-2-return-to-the-scene\/","title":{"rendered":"RedFlame DeepWater (pt.2): Return to the Scene"},"content":{"rendered":"

The deepening of spiritual awareness can go through many stages, some repeating and bringing up old patterns to make conscious, some with new, unexplained events to experience. I am currently working on a long narrative poem called RedFlame DeepWater. I previously posted Part 1, RedFlame Initiates Destruction<\/a>, about the sudden events that can enter our lives initiating a potential for deepening our awareness. Whether we take that opportunity depends on our choices during these challenging times.<\/p>\n

Part 2 of RedFlame<\/em> DeepWater<\/strong>, Returning to the Scene<\/em>, picks up where our cherished life, identity, beliefs, feelings, thoughts and possessions have been burned by a consuming RedFlame erupting suddenly. As fast as the destructive flame entered our life, it left, leaving us to believe that now we can go back and rebuild the life that was destroyed.<\/p>\n

Part two is about the stage of the \u201cdark night of the soul\u201d when you try to rebuild your previous life after suffering tremendous loss and trauma. However, the \u201cdark night of the soul\u201d is about spiritual growth and not just recovering what was lost. So, when we try to restore the past, we find out that is not possible, the process is continuing to cleanse us and transform our lives. But if feels like our lives are being taken away, and we can go into denial, rage, and depression, and refuse to go on unless we get what we want. But Spirit has more wisdom, and more in store for us.<\/p>\n

Personally, I feel like this stage of my \u201cdark night of the soul\u201d is much more difficult than other more painful crises and events that have happened in my life. \u00a0But, you can have the potential of deeper internal experiences during times of loss and suffering. \u00a0This deeper potential requires giving up what we hang our identity on, what we use as our security, and throws us into a dark abyss with no promises of bringing us back out. This is the painful stage of releasing more of our sacred attachments.<\/p>\n

\"fireandwater\"<\/strong><\/p>\n

RedFlame DeepWater
\nPart 2<\/strong><\/p>\n

Returning to the Scene<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

The path leads me back
\nto survey my previous life,
\nnow burned by RedFlame
\ninto unrecognizable rubble.<\/p>\n

\"GodsTorment\"<\/p>\n

I return to look for what is left.
\nBlack Ash is smoldering,
\nsmoke is thinning,
\nrevealing alien landscapes
\njutting out oddly.<\/p>\n

But maybe it is not so bad,
\nMaybe all is not lost.
\nI’m sure I can find
\nremnants to repair,
\nto redecorate,
\nto renovate,
\nmy world to re-create.<\/p>\n

I know I can,
\nI can see some of my things,
\nstill where they collapsed.
\nI run to this
\ncherished place,
\nblind to the extent
\nof destruction.<\/p>\n

As I go towards my home,
\nI remember
\nhow much I love,
\nmy things, my life, my identity,
\nthe people, places and perceptions
\nthat define me.<\/p>\n

I really want it all back.
\nMy life depends on it.
\nI feel secure in familiar spaces.
\nFriends and family expect
\nTHIS
\nto be me.<\/p>\n

\"coals\"<\/p>\n

As I get closer
\nI look down and
\nI see–
\nRed coals still glowing,
\nan echo of RedFlame,
\nthreatening those that may touch.<\/p>\n

I try to touch beloved possessions,
\nbarely recognizable,
\nso loved & cherished.
\nEach touch,
\nmelting and searing flesh,
\nwith Pain Unimaginable.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_3339\"<\/p>\n

I must be careful now –
\nI see my possessions,
\nI try to grab—-
\nbut it –
\nburns & falls.
\nWell, that is gone –
\nMaybe just this one thing,
\nburns, sears, snaps.<\/p>\n

Maybe just this-
\nslices, cuts.<\/p>\n

I fall on the rubble
\nbruised, battered, cut & sore
\nbleeding, belligerent, bedraggled.
\nI slowly stand
\nin pain…<\/p>\n

I look further.
\nAll I can do is stare
\nin\u00a0disbelief.
\nNursing burns.
\nMy tears fall on the coals,
\nI watch them sizzle & evaporate,
\nrepelling even the slightest moisture.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_0436\"Latent explosions, falling debris,
\ncontinue to sound.
\nA hellish landscape,
\nNow black with death.
\nSuch beauty destroyed,
\nin a long instant.
\nDeath all around, in and through.
\nNumb shock sets in.<\/p>\n

Pain Unimaginable,
\nloss, grief, & death,
\nare everywhere.
\nDisbelief and denial set in further.
\nFrozen watching,
\nunable to move
\nno where to go…<\/p>\n

\"sdfvbedrg\"Stuck suffering.<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering,
\nThis didn’t really happen!<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering,
\nI don’t deserve this!<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering,
\nThis shouldn’t happen to me!<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering,
\nSomeone must save me!<\/p>\n

Stuck Suffering…<\/p>\n

I don’t care…<\/p>\n

Part 3 of RedFlame DeepWater <\/strong>is <\/strong>called Becoming Invisible<\/a><\/strong><\/em>…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The deepening of spiritual awareness can go through many stages, some repeating and bringing up old patterns to make conscious, some with new, unexplained events to experience. I am currently working on a long narrative poem called RedFlame DeepWater. I previously posted Part 1, RedFlame Initiates Destruction, about the sudden events that can enter our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[97,100,141,155],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-dark-night-of-the-soul","tag-difficult-times","tag-poetry","tag-spirituality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingwithlivewires.com\/annetylerlord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}