RedFlame DeepWater (pt. 4): Dark Places: Retreat

My series RedFlame DeepWater continues. After the RedFlame of life events burn through your life in unexpected ways, you have the chance for spiritual growth. Progressing in spiritual practice is not devoid of experiences that send you to dark places, with feelings of depression, fear, anxiety. Often, these experiences are more brief, but can be very intense. Sometimes they can take you over for awhile. I think it is important to talk about this aspect of the journey, not to be depressing or negative, not to encourage these feelings, but to acknowledge that the negative should not be feared, but witnessed just the same as positive emotions, and great moments of awareness.

I think our society, even our “enlightened” groups can too easily place layers of negativity on top of negative emotions, and those that have them, thus increasing the power of the shadow. It is our duty to be masters of the Shadow realms, to practice transforming them. Only then, can we be truly powerful in our attempts to transform in our pursuits in life. It is too easy to run, deny and shame our own negative feelings and those of others. It is too easy to hide in “positive” goal orientations that seek to suppress negativity from our Shadow that may be itching to be witnessed and transformed.

Do not misunderstand, we should not promote negativity, but learn to masterfully witness (not suppress) the negativity and pain that passes through our being, sometimes as an irritable whisper, sometimes as deep grief, depression, physical pain and other times as raging anger. Running for cover will only bring them back with a vengeance.

RedFlame DeepWater – Part 4

Dark Places: Retreat

Returning to the Dark Place
where the RedFlame forced me.

All alone where I belong,
Now that all is gone.
Burned through & through,
I am scratched, bruised,
bloody, seared,
flesh hanging…

Pain Unimaginable,
my constant companion,
What have I done to have,
such a painful friend?

I sit with Darkness,
so pitch black I can’t see,
slight relief, to not run,
wander, or care.
Here I will sit,
for eternity,
no one, no thing, no light,
Darkness becomes my other companion,
with Pain Unimaginable.

Darkness gives brief comfort
But, Pain Unimaginable does not.
It won’t leave,
So, I sit.
Pain Unimaginable and Darkness – always
constant companions
in my place of no time.

Remembrances and Resentments
flow through consciousness.
I was fine before –
I had it all!
My past defined me,
My future
was set.

I held it all so dearly, with delight!
It was beautiful, wonderful, fun!
What an adventure!
What great feelings, great thoughts & great dreams!
Bright lights, pretty things,
fun to have, wonderful things to see…

I miss seeing those things,
feeling wonderful,
planning fun,
success & security.
I miss friends & parties
I miss,
my past,
my life,
my future
Now everyone has forgotten
My importance is
All burned by RedFlame.

I continue for an eternity
to sit with my friends.
Pain Unimaginable & Darkness
Darkness now protects me from
encounters & concerns of the world.
Pain Unimaginable (PU)
reminds me I am alive.

As I look closely,
I soon realize PU is alive,
separate from me.
Who is it? What is it?
I talk to each day,
my alive companion.

Pain Unimaginable (PU) –
Why did you come to live with me?

PU: You needed me.

Why do I need you?

PU: To point the way.

I don’t need you!

PU: Oh, really? Right now, who would you be without me?

Who are you?

PU: I am now, and now, and NOW.

Stay Tuned for RedFlame DeepWater, Part 5, Dark Places: Me, Pain & Suffering