The Writer’s Life: Negative Thoughts

Worry, anxiety, fear, insecurity, self-doubt, anger, rage, apathy, jealousy

These are some of the feelings that create defeating, depressing and disturbing thoughts about our writing and our life. We all get them in some form, but getting stuck in these thoughts can destroy our creativity and keep us from writing.

Most of our negative thinking is automatic and habitually rehearsed for years. Each time an event triggers our emotions, negative thinking follows. So, what can you do about negative thinking?

Personally, I don’t care for the self-help movements that say, “just think positive, dream about what you want and it will come to you.” Blah! There is so much of that stuff out there. I have developed a knee-jerk reaction to books or blogs that talk about thinking positive and realizing your dreams. Change is a little more complicated and this ‘dream and it will come’ approach tends to cause more problems than it solves.

When I ordered a few of Eric Maisel’s books from the library, one of the books was called, Write Mind: 299 Things Writers Should Never Say to Themselves (and What They Should Say Instead). This book consists of a list of statements you say that are “wrong mind,” and what you should say in instead that is “right mind.” He used the word, affirmations, so I became suspicious even though I really liked his other books.

When I finally began reading Write Mind, I was very pleased and surprised to see he had one of the most rational and workable systems of dealing with negative thinking I have come across in recent years. His approach is based on cognitive therapy (which I think is fine when combined with other approaches, which he recommends in his books) and with aspects of Buddhism.

Eric Maisel begins by saying that those of us who choose to think deeply about life, our work, issues, art and the world, are the ones that can experience high levels of pain and suffering when wrong thinking is involved. And, those people even suffer more than others who turn a blind eye to the world, to others, and their own inner state and have chosen not to think at all. He states,

This helps explain what at first glance seems paradoxical – that thoughtful people have more trouble with their thoughts than do unthoughtful people.  If you choose to think but you aren’t able to distinguish wrong thinking from right thinking, then you experience more pain and suffering than you would if you didn’t think at all. However, the answer isn’t refusing to think. The answer is learning to distinguish right thinking from wrong thinking.

This also means understanding that entertaining dreams can cause pain. Desire can cause pain. Craving justice can cause pain. Everything good, valuable, and laudable can become a source of pain once the mind wants it. Again, the answer isn’t not to want these things! The answer is to be alert to the fact that pain may be coming and to know what to say in response to a wrong thought.

I see these words as a challenge to us to live more fully and take risks, even though we know that more pain may be involved. The solution is to develop strategies to deal with the pain, because after all, it’s unavoidable.  Pain is created by the negative thinking in our minds in response to these unavoidable situations. But we don’t have to succumb to our lifelong habits and catastophize our situation with wrong thinking. Eric Maisel continues,

The Buddha said, “Get a grip on your mind!” As a thoughtful person, you have the ability to challenge your thoughts that bring you pain or that cause you not to write. What you also need are the understanding and the will. If you have the understanding and the will, then when a wrong thought pops into your head you will see it clearly for what it is, the product of some doubt, fear, reluctance, or inner conflict.

The first question to ask yourself is, Do you want to change? It is a common habit to hold on to negative thinking when it is serving a purpose and often the purpose is to protect us from more pain. It is much easier to isolate ourselves or to avoid writing than to be exposed to the pain of criticism and rejection. However, if you have the will to change, there are ways to help confront these negative thoughts.

Questions to Contemplate

Is it possible to transform those thoughts that are destroying our confidence to write and create? Is it possible to replace those thoughts with something our mind and body will believe and lead you to change? Can it be done without the insincere, overly positive, “realize your dream” approach?

Can you catch the thoughts that arise from the negative feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, anger or insecurity and transform them into creative energy? Do you know where they came from (voices from the past or present) and know what purpose they serve? What triggers negative feelings and thoughts that invade your mind when you are trying to write? What beliefs get in the way of changing these habitual thinking patterns?

Next week I will talk about ways to confront destructive thoughts and how to replace them in a healthy, productive way. There is so much to discuss when it comes to negative thoughts that affect the writer’s life, that I will turn this into a series. Continue the series here:

The Writer’s Life: Get In Your Right Mind


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36 responses to “The Writer’s Life: Negative Thoughts”

  1. […] am continuing my series about Negative Thoughts (this is where it all started), and I’m discussing anxiety in the writer’s life […]

  2. […] weeks ago, I began writing a series about Negative Thoughts and how to deal with them in the writing life. We all have times when we are overwhelmed with […]

  3. […] Writer’s Life Weekly Feature. Last week I began a series about dealing with Negative Thoughts in our writing life.  My latest post described a specific technique from cognitive psychology that […]

  4. […] week I began a series about Negative Thoughts. I will continue by discussing ways to confront destructive thoughts in a healthy way to improve […]

  5. Very thoughtful post. I think negativity is the most self-defeating aspect of writing. But you’re right to be leery of the whole “think positive” approach with nothing else to back it up. I’m eager to see how you continue to tackle this issue in this series of posts.

  6. […] (contact information is on her site). Also this week, she posted a terrific piece on “The Writer’s Life: Negative Thoughts“: “Personally, I don’t care for the self-help movements that say, ‘just think […]

  7. hi anne

    absolutely love this post. really enjoyed it. i miss it when i ‘miss’ stopping by here during the week or during tweets.

    although i am really enjoying EVERY single game of the worldcup, i am looking forward to my life resuming to regular writing, work projects, friends, posts like this….

    thanks for this.

    annie

    p.s.
    oh maybe you can do a post about how you manage checking up on others’ blogs/websites and your own regular writing and posting? i don’t know. maybe you already have that here somewhere. this madhatter needs a lil box right now! lol

    1. Hi Annie,

      I’m so happy to see you in the midst of the world cup! I’m sure life will fall back into place after the excitement! Thanks for stopping by!!

  8. […] Writer’s Life Weekly Feature. This week I began a series on Negative Thoughts and what we can do about them in our writing life.  There is so much to share about this topic, my […]

  9. Your post and the comments here all strike a chord with me. Like Sam, I get tired of hearing “pull yourself together” but I feel guilt because for years I did just that – put on the happy face and trudge through my day in order to survive. Now I can’t do it and I wonder what’s wrong with me that I can’t act like “other” people.

    Along with that though, was when my creativity really burst through. I’m now a permanently cracked vessel and everything leaks out – the good and the bad.

    Good people like you, Anne, are all that save me from being a hermit and I thank you for that. This is a wonderful place to share and commiserate and learn a few things. (and you throw great parties too)

    1. Hi Laura, Ha, you just made the point as to why, “just pulling yourself together,” doesn’t work by itself – it only makes everyone else feel better because you are not showing them your real self at that moment – it takes everyone else off the hook.

      Not being able to “act like other people,” is showing your more authentic self – that is amazing that is the point when your creativity burst through.

      I think that all vessels are cracked, but that most people are trying to use crazy glue to cover it up!

      I’m glad you like to come out of the cave to hang out here. It gives me a thrill to see everyone! We all like our batcaves a lot, have you been redecorating at all lately? I have a lovely new collection of vintage cat artwork in my batcave. I may share it in a future post.

  10. Fantastic post Anne that obviously strikes a chord with us all.

    Before leaving my thoughts on the post itself though, I’ve got to address Linda – Linda, I love your thinking, but when I read “what I wrote was just words”, I was ready to whop you, (in a friendly way of course). 🙂 You’re right in that what we write are just words, but I feel the need to tell you that the way YOU string those words together is nothing short of astounding, and I apreciate you sharing them with us, as I know this whole group does. That’s it, all I wanted to say on that subject.

    I’m right there with you about the positive affirmations “irritation” Anne – just saying those positive words doesn’t necessarily fix whatever we feel is wrong at the moment. And I agree that taking responsibility for ALL of our feelings is highly important in harnessing them. I hope that makes sense.

    I write because I must, because I’m truly addicted to it, and I seem to want to write that much more when I’m feeling down or wanting to feel sorry for my poor pitiful self. If I’m so involved, (with my poor me feelings), I can’t possibly work on a story so I usually write a letter to myself: “You can’t do this, who do you think you are?” “I’m a writer, I have to do this, stop telling me I can’t do it.”, etc, etc. It helps to get those feelings out, get them down on paper, or on the computer. Unless the negativity is extreme, I most always walk away laughing, thinking “How funny that you were telling yourself you couldn’t do this – you just did it!”

    Not everyone does this of course, but I believe we all must have some sort of outlet to release those negative feelings, whether it be writing it out, as I do, or taking a walk, sketching, throwing things, whatever. And it helps immensely to have tight groups, such as Writers_Life, to share those feelings with. I know I speak for everyone when I say Thank You Anne for creating this group!

    Okay, I’ll quit rambling now. Thanks again Anne for always giving us thoughtful posts.

    1. Deanna, that is a good technique! Actually putting out those feelings and looking at them outside of yourself helps to externalize them.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I am glad this site has been a good connecting point. I have personally benefited so much and am so grateful for everyone who stops by each week!

  11. Anne, I have struggled with depression/anxiety for years so this post really struck a chord with me. I have lost count of the number of people who have suggested I can “cure” myself by “pulling myself together,” would that it were so easy; as a result I have no faith whatsoever in so-called positive thinking and/or affirmations.

    Writing is my way of trying to change, though I suspect it’s a very long road I have set myself upon.

    1. Hi Sam,

      You hit on one very important point, our writing (which can cause us pain and anxiety) is actually one of the main ways to can heal and pull ourselves out of the deep pit. I have heard so many times that writing is what has saved some of us writers. I think I would include myself in that group.

  12. Very thoughtful post, Anne. But I don’t expect less of you! I rarely get apprehensive about writing. I haven’t since I realized that what I wrote was just words. Just a bunch of letters strung together on the page or computer screen. Just as easily wiped away if they did not please.

    I think the fear comes in worrying whether OTHER people will like our words. I think that’s what makes creators clench up. It’s hard to shake the editor, the judge, the purchaser, the public. It takes a lot of courage to put one’s self (for the words are just that — our SELVES) out for public consumption. What if we don’t sell? don’t win the contest? don’t get an agent? languish in self-pub hell?

    But back to craft… why be afraid of the words? The more of them you write, the more they sort of assemble themselves on the page with ease. Malcolm Gladwell says it takes 10,000 hours to become ‘good’ at something. That’s a lot of time. I hope to never become so ‘good’ I have nowhere else to go.

    And be afraid to fail — and fail marvelously. That’s how you learn what not to do, and never do again. Although in writing I don’t think failure is possible — every single word placed on the page gets you one word closer to whatever it is you are working towards. Even this comment gets me closer, closer… peace…

    1. Hi Linda,

      Good for you – *take that you, words* You have such beautiful words, at that.

      But it is so personal for many writers they can’t bear to have them read and critiqued. Yes, the fear of failure and what others think is one of the biggest fears to deal with.

      I have heard the 10,000 hrs too and think of it often to remind myself that I am still learning and to not be so hard on myself.

      thanks for the encouragement to everyone!

  13. I’ve always got little niggling doubtful thoughts floating around in my brain. I’m getting much better at ignoring them, but it’s a constant battle.

    1. Hi Jemi, I hear you – and I love that word, niggling.

  14. Great post, Anne. I find those fears get me in the oddest little ways. I’ve fought them for many years and finally just decided to ignore them and write anyway. That helped me more than the affirmations and visualizations and positive thinking ever did. The fears are still there, but at least I can put the words down (and out on my blog) now.

    Might have to check out that book you’re talking about.

    Thanks, Anne. 🙂

    1. Gracie,

      You have come into a wonderful place – deciding to ignore the fears and write anyway shows you reached a point where the fears didn’t convince you they were so life or career threatening anymore. Good for you!

  15. I wear my doubts and hesitations out on my sleeve. Somehow, taking ownership of my FUD defangs it.

    1. Hi Tony,

      I see how you do that on Twitter & on your blog. I can even feel the sting of situations you have experienced evaporate in through your comments. Being honest and taking ownership is VERY powerful, and hard to do for most people. When we blame others, the negativity in us only increases.

      You have found a very good place.

  16. Addy

    This thread made me think about Standing at Water’s Edge, a book by Anne Paris that talks about artistic fears and anxiety is relation to the writer/artist’s ability to immerse in the creative experience successfully. Paris is a psychologist who works with a lot of writers and artists. Her book is a good read, and offers a lot of good nuggets about how to move past fears, writer’s blocks, etc. It could use another layer of copyediting, but the information is sound.

  17. Thoughtful post. I’ve noticed the whole positive thinking versus negative approach, but I’m not sure if my observations are quite what was meant. When I write I tend to exorcise any demons I might be harboring by putting them on the page. Or if something causes me pain I use that as a call to action to do something positive. An example: I became vegan and seeing what we did to animals caused/causes me pain so I use that to change my lifestyle accordingly, distribute information, share vegan recipes, and participate in fundraisers…

    I’m not sure if that’s quite what was meant, but that’s my interpretation. 🙂

    1. Ganymeder,

      You definitely have a very important approach to dealing with negative feelings (meaning anything that causes us pain and suffering). You have used your feelings to make a difference in your world and making a statement or using it as material in your writing. That is a very constructive use of feelings that can paralyze us if they get stuck. You focus them into channels for good.

  18. What I find difficult is that my optimism and anxiety/hopeless can exist almost in parallel. As Emma said, I know intellectually that I have had great feedback, award nominations for stories but sometimes I think I just can’t continue to write. I find the affirmation from my online and writing group friends to be invaluable to keep me going but wish I could affirm myself more effectively!

    1. Hi Alison,

      You describe an ability in those with high creativity – holding extremes equally in consciousness. It has a very strong positive side and allows us to work with ambiguity and divergent views, but like everything else, the downside (or shadow) makes our emotions more rocky.

      I think it helps when we connect with writer friends to snap us out of our stuck feelings. I hope some of the techniques I describe will resonate with you.

      Managing our minds and emotional lives is one of our greatest challenges in life. As a writer, we have regular contact with these issues that other people don’t, thus more opportunities to grow. I always choose the topics for my series first and foremost for myself, because we all suffer in our writer’s life in many similar ways. Together we can find some solutions that will perk us up on difficult days.

  19. Really good post, Anne, and thank you 🙂 Affirmations are something that raise my hackles and suspicions too.

    Cultivating a different relationship with my thoughts is something I’m continuing to work on – that’s such an excellent point, that thoughtful people are more likely to have trouble with their thoughts, oh yes. I am learning to catch the thoughts and approach them with kindness and compassion, rather than the enemy.

    My own, current nervousness about writing is because I feel my posts would benefit from being more ‘applied’. I want my blog to help people, and yet I feel I’m ‘missing the mark’ somehow, though I bear in mind my blog is only four months old and I had two years of ouch about blogging to work through before I could get to that point. Your post is a great example of the practical, applied approach, and one I’ll learn from.

    I also want to create ebooks and courses, however I’m right at the beginning of this process and I have a lot to learn – which is fine, I’m just seeing the wobbles about writing which are rooted in the thoughts.

    1. Hi Josie,

      I think you are doing great on your blog! And, you already know what you want to do with it, then you are ahead of the game already. It sounds like you have also developed patience with the process!

  20. I go through periods of relative sanity, and then I’m blindsided by the doubts again. My fears make it much more difficult to become motivated, and sometimes I talk myself into believing that I’m wasting my time dreaming of a writing career. Like Emma, I understand these emotions and their roots intellectually, and I know what steps I’m supposed to take to deal with them. But I’ve yet to be able to stop them or the obsessive thoughts that plague me when they arise. Are all writers crazy?

    1. Hi, it can seem like all of us writers are crazy much of the time. We take on a job that would drive most people with routine jobs insane. But we know we have to do it. And, this intense life does leave us vulnerable to emotional instability. I also believe that times are changing slowly for creative types and that we have more resources available than ever before to help us cope and thrive.

      Getting a hold of our minds is just as much of a practice for us as writing. I hope this series will shed some light on this perplexing problem.

  21. The major point of my Warrior Writer program is to not only conquer our fears with courage, but also explore our fears, mine them for the valuable nuggets they can produce. Often, to succeed as a writer, we must face our greatest fear. Right now, on my blog, we’re asking the question: I’ll do whatever it takes to succeed as a writer, just don’t ask me to do . . .
    What the answer to that question is, is the key to success as a writer.

    1. You have a very interesting website and a fascinating background as a green beret. That is definitely the level of courage it takes to be a writer.

  22. Oh yes, I do so want to change! I blog and tweet openly about having anxiety problems, and it’s all from flawed thinking. What’s upsetting is that I understand its roots, its process and the reasons why it continues *intellectually* but still suffer terribly on an emotional level.

    I could write reams more, but suffice to say that I know this beast well, and am blasted by the snorts of his nostrils every single day.

    1. Hi Emma, thanks for your comments. It is very difficult to take what we *know* with our intellect and convince our bodies to follow. Especially with such a career as writing where each day is new, different,and entirely up to us for success. I hope my series will give you a few drops of hope. I think we all go through the wringer each day with our writing life.

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