The Writer’s Life: Are You What You Write?

Are You What You Write?

As a fiction writer, have you ever felt that your personal character was judged by others based on the genre or content of what you write?

Have you experienced strange looks, insincere polite comments, or talking behind your back about the content of your novel or short stories when you have shared your writing with others?

Have you gotten the impression that family, friends, or acquaintances believe that, if you write…

  • Horror, then you are evil and twisted inside and are suspect for disturbing behavior?
  • Crime, then you are a repressed criminal with murderous intent and can’t be trusted?
  • Science Fiction, then you are out of touch with reality, a strange geek and antisocial?
  • Romance or Erotica, then you are a sex crazed maniac with a dirty mind?
  • All the genres, then you are a disturbed, murderous, sex-obsessed nerd?

Well, that sinks my reputation, since I write in many genres.

I can hear some of you laughing right now. You may be laughing because you can relate to receiving these reactions from other people. But, we are all probably cringing because this stereotyping is so unfair. These types of judgments are hurtful and can influence what we decide to write.

My Own Experiences

As fiction writers, we hope that our passion and voice will find an audience of readers. Our readers are a primary concern, just as our own passion and voice are important.  But what about the opinions of those who know you personally – friends, family, colleagues, hometown folks and acquaintances?

The opinions of those with whom I come into contact was a big issue for me when I began writing fiction. I am a psychotherapist who writes non-fiction and self-help. I worried that if I wrote anything unusual, twisted, or with an edge, that I would be judged. This fear of mine prevented me from writing for several years. I was so frustrated with the idea of believing I should only write sweet, Midwestern themed, inspiring family stories (not that there is anything wrong with that, and maybe I will in the future) that I didn’t want to write at all.

So, what was my solution? My husband is my primary critic and he enjoys seeing the variety of genres and weird stuff I write.  And, I mainly pay attention to feedback from other writers I trust, especially those that write in the same genres. I used a pen name to help keep my lives separate (to some extent) and called my website, Don’t Fence Me In, to remind myself to listen to my own intuition about what I wanted to write. I still wonder how to keep my writing and professional life separate.  But, I am committed to write by inspiration, rather than what I think I should write.

How Much of Ourselves Is In What We Write?

As fiction writers, there is something of ourselves, conscious and unconscious, in everything we write. We can use our experiences, feelings and thoughts to inspire stories. Our novel can help us process problems from our past or present. Writing can be therapeutic, an expression of our inner lives or a forum for personal causes. And, fiction can be inspired by our environment, from things we see, read or hear. But, I think there are even more sources of our creativity.

I believe that our intuition and imagination touch energy sources larger than our personal egos. One term used for this is the collective unconscious, described by Carl Jung. He stated that we can tune in to currents of energy, the archetypes and universal stories.  And, Rupert Sheldrake is a scientists who took this concept of Jung’s further and has done research on morphogenetic fields. This is a theory that describes morphic fields of resonance that we share and contribute to collectively.  These theories are too involved to go into detail, but my point is that these fields have been theorized as sources of our creativity.

I believe that intuition, imagination, collective unconsciousness, morphic fields of resonance, Spirit (God, universal energy) may be some of the mysterious sources of our creativity. If so, then maybe there are sources from which we receive unique ideas that we combine with our own ideas when we write.

If there are external sources from which we receive information and inspiration, are we just a channel? We are a channel for all kinds of energy and information from multiple sources, internal and external, but we are also the mind and body that receives it and filters it through our personality and senses. One way to conceptualize it is to see ourselves as a sensor, censor and organizer. Our sensing capabilities include our body, mind, abilities and environment. How much we censor is our choice. How we cultivate channeling is part of the practice of being a writer. For example, as fiction writers, we often talk about how the characters we are channeling tell us what to write about them. Some of us have a strong censor, some of us have a more open censor. Neither is good or bad, just part of who we are. But, we can never leave ourselves out of the writing process (or any form of art for that matter).

Important Questions About Our Writing Life

Regardless of the percentage of input from our sources of information & inspiration, I think the questions we ask ourselves are most important to contemplate…

  • How important are the opinions of friends and family to my writing?
  • Do I censor my writing based on what others say or may think of me?
  • How much do I censor? What kinds of material do I censor?
  • Has the opinions of others discouraged me?
  • Where is the line between writing for myself & writing for the readers?
  • What kind of image do I put out there through my writing?
  • Am I concerned about that image? Does it influence what I write?
  • Am I happy with what I am writing? Do I feel like the voice I have is the right one for me?
  • If I honestly believed I have complete creative freedom, would I write any differently?

Creative Freedom

There are as many answers to these questions as there are writers in the world. I do think these questions are worth asking ourselves on a regular basis to become more consciously aware of the decisions we make in our writing.

I’m guessing that most fiction writers that have published or shared their work have encountered strange reactions from people they know personally if they write anything unusual or vastly different from their public persona. There are so many opinions coming into our lives as writers. There is a delicate balancing act that we perform daily between our own passion, our writing voice, our personal opinions, the reactions of those in our personal lives, the response of readers, publishers and trying to maintain our creative freedom as much as possible.

What does creative freedom mean to you? And, do you think you have it?

Comments

93 responses to “The Writer’s Life: Are You What You Write?”

  1. I quite honestly couldn’t give a monkeys, and personally, I think my writing would be crap if I had to worry about being politically correct. Everything else that worries about being PC is. Anyway, I am evil and twisted inside and suspect for disturbing behavior.

    1. Hi Barry,

      Well, we always suspected that – heehee! You clearly have creative freedom!

  2. I was quite shocked, amazed and pleased to see this post take on a viral quality in our writing and artistic communities. I never imagined that it would evoke such indepth, soul-searching conversation on formal Twitter chats like #writechat (it was the topic that week), in the comments above & on Twitter, as well as in the many personal messages I received.

    I am very glad that my own personal questions and research that I have shared in this post have also been valuable to other writers and artists in their own search to create meaning in their lives & in their art.

      1. thanks Mari,

        You win the award as my most prolific commenter and I appreciate your sense of humor and insights – You are my wonderful friend. Thanks for your enthusiastic support.

  3. Thank you, so much, Anne Tyler Lord for great feasting of thought….My first means of expression is art…painting and photography. My art reflects my passion for social change. My writing,also depicts my hopes for humanity (or social change)…and in many ways the behaviors and actions that I pontificate on are true aspirations for my SELF.
    I wondered out loud with friends (inspired by your wonderful blog piece) if so many writers are tormented with this very premise…and if alcohol and mind altering substances play a key role because of it. Thanks, again. I loved your article, your way with words (and the twitter angel that led me to you!)

    1. Wow! I am so happy you stopped by and I am glad my post was food for thought and conversation.

      You have expressed such clear aspirations for your art – social change, hopes for humanity – and the reflections of these for your SELF.

      I think you may be right that many writers also struggle with these aspirations and that sometimes addictions arise with the frustration felt in trying to manifest their dreams. It can also be overwhelming to try and take on the world when you feel like such a small part of it. I also see the struggle for expressing inner realities and trying to be heard a great source of angst for some writers.

      Thanks for your thoughtful comments. And, I am also very thankful that a twitter angel let you to me. You have an amazing collection of art at ArtSlant.

  4. I read this last Saturday, and have been thinking on it quite awhile. My story is too long to write, but I can relate to a lot of the feelings that you have had yourself Anne, and others here. I finally had to decide that I *know* who I am, and I *like* who I am, and that I choose to give myself and characters *freedom*. I don’t expect my family to approve, or others I have been associated in the past, but if they love me, they will accept it and get over it. If they refuse to associate with me, then it is their loss. I know this sounds harsh, but one can’t constantly be changing to please others. I love your don’t hide don’t tell rule. That is exactly what I do, although I’ve never thought of it that way.

    *THANK YOU* for this wonderful post. And the pics– wow! Love the girl in the mask, and the picture of the flower made out of bodies. Incredible. Also enjoyed your intuition/creative thought flow topic.

    1. Oh, dear, I thought I was at the bottom of the comment list. I didn’t mean to butt in on your conversation with Sam. Sorry guys!

      1. Hey Jodi, kudos for you! I totally agree that we should be true to ourselves, no matter what our family and friends think.

        Besides, if we look outside our window, we might find people that relate to us waving madly to call our attention. *waves* 😀

        p.s.: I don’t think you were in the way of Sam’s convo. It seems that there’s a limit for replies here. 😉

    2. Hi Jodi,

      Thanks for your comments – I see you are another writer who can relate to these issues. I agree with you – we just can’t keep changing what we do to please others, but I also try not to push my views in their faces if they aren’t even curious. Those that ask should expect the truth and deal with it accordingly. If not, they have to make the decision as to what to do. We can’t always control who stays in our lives and who decides to leave, we just have to learn to live with their decisions. I have noticed over the years that a few people have come in and out of my life without me doing anything different, it had more to do with their place in life.

      No you weren’t in the middle of anything – I have some kind of limit to the number of replies in one thread.

      Thanks again for stopping by my good friend!

  5. Anne, I must add a shallow comment to your super thoughtful post. Please forgive me for diverting the attention, but you’re becoming a blog superstar like Jemi. Wow, 70+ comments, and all deep and interesting? (except for this one, heh :P)

    You rock woman! 😀

    1. Ha! thanks, comparing me to Jemi is a really big compliment. But remember, I’m not just a blogger, but a blabber and almost half the comments are mine!! hehe!

      I give credit to the topic and the willingness for all my friends and new friends (several new people commenting this time) for stepping up and participating. I think this post really hit a nerve. I know it has been on my nerve for a long time.

      1. The topic is fantastic, the post is filled with deep thoughts and lots of interesting information, and you ad much value to the discussion with your comments.

        No dear, no babble here. Good thinking and a new superstar coming out. 😉

  6. Jannette Johnson

    Do I have creative freedom?

    I think I do.

    For me, creative freedom isn’t about just writing stories in different genre‘s, but about storytelling and writing. I’ve written editorials, short stories, novels, etc, but I’ve also written scripts for television and movies (no, none have been produced). Expanding my ability as a writer, pushing the boundaries, for me, is what’s it’s about.

    1. Hi Jannette,

      “Expanding my ability as a writer, pushing the boundaries…” I like that! It sounds like you have great comfort as a writer and don’t feel influenced by opinions of others.

  7. Hello Anne,

    Creative freedom for me is being able to write without censorship. Do I have it? Apparently not, I thought I did when I started out ( I am only at the start of my writing journey), however I am becoming increasingly aware that I have changed (softened if you will). Now I am tossing up whether to I want to stay true to the original idea of the story or b) if I should change the plot-line.

    Thanks for writing such a thought provoking post.

    Talei

    1. Hi Talei,

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad this post helped you think through your WIP. And, I hope it will inspire you to go where your heart wants your story to go!

  8. I love what you have expressed here. There’s so much inspiration for reflection that I hardly know how to respond, only that I wanted to say something to acknowledge that I really appreciate your post.

    I’m currently watching my inner censor wanting to conceal that I’ve previously written lesbian erotic fiction, posted elsewhere under a pen name and enjoyed by quite a few – so, heck, I’m saying it anyway! And I guess that’s one example of your point. Having said that, nowadays I feel I tend more towards writing creative non-fiction, but there is so much richness here.

    I’ve just been to a Poetry Therapy training day as part of the counselling training and it was cathartic and provocative and I loved it. As you know I appreciate the therapeutic value of writing (particularly journalling). I’ll be coming back to this post. Thanks.

    1. Hi Josie,

      Thanks for stopping by and offering another honest, heart-felt comment. I commend you for acknowledging your inner censor and talking about your lesbian erotic fiction. Many of us have pen names to help give us more creative freedom. You are such a kind, sensitive person, and I know you are struggling like me in that we want to do counseling.

      I absolutely love Poetry Therapy and have been studying it myself. I plan to develop courses based on it. As you know, it is so much more than Poetry, but every type of writing designed to help us explore ourselves and transform us. That must have been a great training!

  9. Wow, so much meat and food for thought here! I feel like I want to comment on everything! But one thing really stuck out, which was the issue of wondering if you’d censor your writing if your family regularly read & commented on it.

    I actually had to ask myself that question in a different context a few months ago, when all my relatives from the other side of the country started showing up on Facebook and I friended them all. We’ve all been close all our lives. But they are all still fundamentalists, while I most definitely am NOT, and our politics and everything else are now drastically different. So I had to decide if I’d start censoring what I put there, because they were there and could be offended, even though the majority of my FB contacts have similar views to me.

    In the end, I didn’t censor myself. Which led to a huge fight with my mom in October, which we haven’t yet really recovered from. But I just. can’t. lie.

    But I’m working on a book about fundamentalism, and if it gets to the point of publication, I actually may ask the publisher if I can publish under a pseudonym. Though even that isn’t so much a concession to my family as a worry about death threats etc from fundamentalists, which I know would come.

    I do still block a few readers from some parts of my life, though. For example, I write a bit of anime fanfic, which I mostly reference on my LiveJournal. And I never refer my friends there to any of my other online locations. This is mainly because I don’t want my anime friends to know that I am probably old enough to be their mother. *sigh* So there the censorship comes from knowing I would lose the enjoyable rapport we share once they realized how old I am.

    Meanwhile — your post comes as a great coincidence, because just an hour ago, another online friend and I were talking what what makes us write or create, and what are the sources of our creativity.

    I speculated that one impulse might be similar to what Bruno Bettelheim said about kids needing to read fairy tales, because they help the kids work out things like anger against their parents by revelling in giant-slaying etc. Kids can work out inner issues in safety, through the fairy tales. Maybe that’s what some of us are doing with our writing.

    Though I added that I honestly don’t think I have all that much tragedy to try to work through in my life, so that really can’t explain why I so often write tragic stories.

    I did like Dan’s comment, though:

    >> We write it. That gets it out of us.

    I often feel, after I’ve written something extensive, like I don’t know how I did it and I could never repeat it. As though I was only capable of writing that particular thing once.

    Sorry for the long kind of rambling comment! This was a great post, and so is the discussion that has followed it.

    1. Wow Phyl,

      Thanks so much for your honest and personal comment! Facebook has brought a lot of us in contact with our former selves. I don’t even use my other FB account anymore, it is just parking, mainly because it is people from high school, childhood and such – we just don’t have much in common. FB can be a double-edged sword. Fun to hear from people and connect, but then once you meet, it’s time to find out who everyone is now that they are older.

      Wow, I can relate to your problems with the fundamentalists. My husband’s family is crawling with them, thus the reason we don’t have much contact. They are totally intolerant of our lifestyle, which from what they know, it is only due to the fact we don’t go to a fundamentalist church, and the right fundamentalist church – they are still at the point of disapproving of each other if some family members are not in the same sect of Baptist that they are – they don’t want anyone going to that “too liberal” sect of fundamentalist Baptist. This family has evolved a long way from the Apostolic Christian church they began with – that is an Amish type religion where clothing is dictated and men and women sit in different locations & have very strict roles.

      The funny thing for us is that my husband and I met in a fundamentalist bible study in college, but we have continued to evolve together ever since. If we announced to my husband’s family that we were Buddhists, they would definitely think we were in a cult. Last time they visited, they saw our meditation shrine, because we don’t hide things anymore. We have a policy of don’t hide and don’t tell unless they ask. I was confronted by a family member as to why I don’t teach God to my children and in homeschool. They never returned to our home.

      I would be very interested to read your book on fundamentalism. Yes, that will be a very hot topic and you may get a lot of mail from that one. You are brave to go ahead and write it – good for you!

      You should be very proud of yourself to go on and be who you are despite the judgements and misunderstandings that erupt. I know it cannot be easy and a lot of energy must go into defending yourself and/or dealing with the consequences. You are fighting the good fight (hehe! sorry, had to say it)

      I wish for you strength and peace with your writing life and hope that the struggles with family calm down for you. But either way, you are a brave soul!

      1. >> You are fighting the good fight (hehe! sorry, had to say it) <<

        *cackle* You forgot to add "Put on the whole armour of God." Ahem.

        What an interesting history you and your husband have had, too! Was it hard to come to the conclusions you finally did? I remember a very strong element of fear, when all the certainties of the universe were no longer there, and everything felt like quicksand.

        1. Well, for me, I joined in the fundamentalist fun in college – when they scared me with the “rapture” movies. So , I didn’t grow up with it. My husband was always an outsider and never really bought into anything when he was growing up. He loved theater and music so was willing to go against his entire family just to be involved in these activities in school.

          I definitely remember the extreme fear expressed by these groups and feeling it myself for a few years. It is such a sad way to live life, trying to make your world smaller and smaller to try and be safe. If you grew up with this in your family from day one, I sympathize with your journey, that would be very difficult.

  10. Another jam-packed provocative post. Lots to digest, so much I’m printing out along with all the amazing comments engendered here.

    I agree writers are, in part, mediums of sorts, writing down all the layers of consciousness. But we also are craftspeople, taking the raw ‘gut’ stuff and honing into something that evokes meaning.

    Am I what I write? Somewhat; my experiences, the forms of my relationships, my emotional reactions, my geographies, my histories all inform story and character. But mostly I am NOT what I write, for I know ME, have a confort zone about me, so my writing takes me to people and places and experiences I would never encounter. There is a deliciousness in imagining these other worlds and people, of experiencing something foreign, perhaps dangerous or dirty or eath-shaking, that I would not otherwise experience.

    Thanks for such a thoughtful post. Peace…

    1. Linda,

      You summed up your writing experience so eloquently!

      “…we also are craftspeople, taking the raw ‘gut’ stuff and honing into something that evokes meaning.” I like that phrase.

      And, that idea about writing taking us to new places we might not otherwise experience – I love that! It is so much of the fun and excitement of writing fiction.

      Sorry for the packed post, I put a lot in this one. But I think the real value is the amazing comments and perspectives shared here!

  11. Fantastic, thought-provoking post Anne!

    When I first started writing fiction, (or picked it back up I should say), I did have that little nuisance sitting on my shoulder asking “What would your mama say about this?” It truly hampered my creativity! Once I realized the majority of my family hardly read my fiction at all, I felt freed to do as I pleased. It amazes me that, at nearly 41-years-old, I still care what my mama thinks. 😉

    As far as I know, only one of my two sisters reads my fiction now; aside from my husband reading a story when I ask him to, no one else in my family cares, or has time, to read them. That realization went a long way in allowing myself to create as I pleased, and I was, in essence, able to step aside and let the characters do as they wish. I find that interesting because, even though I am stepping aside, I know for a fact that a lot of my own personality is shining through in those characters.

    This leaves me with MUCH to think about. Thanks for this great post Anne!

    1. Hi Deanna,

      Thanks for sharing your personal experiences of being concerned about family comments. The remainders of my family that are still alive also don’t read fiction, especially online. Your comments got me wondering – what would it be like if they did and commented regularly – then a chill ran through me.

  12. First of all, your photos are fabulous!

    As the named “Queen of the Body Count” I would hope that my fiction transends my actual personality. 🙂 I write in multiple genres as I please, whatever comes to mind. My immediate family is quite supportive…as for the others, I’ve found that the ones who find my writing distasteful are also the ones who aren’t readers – of anything. I pity them for their closed minds.

    1. Hi Laura,

      Oh yeah, I think your fiction is very transcendent! Of course you have so much more help than the rest of us with Jezebel and Mr. Fluffy, that is why I suggested the business of renting them our, or maybe they have friends you can rent out to help free us from our chained existence.

      I definitely agree that the most critical are those that aren’t readers (or writers) of anything. You made a good connection to this same group having more closed minds.

  13. Yes, I find myself censoring while I write. I, too, started as a non-fiction writer. Because of that, I find it hard at times to let go and let my writing take off. I’m fighting it. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I don’t. Thanks for the great post to bring this forward.

    1. Hi Lou,

      Thanks for sharing! Yes, then you know how much of what we have written needs to be verifiable (or researched) in non-fiction, at least mine did.

      I’m cheering for you – the half that wants to let go!

  14. What a fascinating conversation with Marc 🙂 For all we write differently (I don’t think writing effects any change in me, btw – it’s not cathartic – that’s not quite what confessional art is for me), I love our chats because they make me think realy deeply.

    Marc has made what to me is the essential point that people who say “but how can you write THAT?” miss. We write it. That gets it out of us. It’s the people who don’t write it. The people who say “that could never come from my head” who worry me. I don’t know what it would be like not to have that melange of weirded-up, whacked-out thoughts swirling somewhere, so I guess I (probably falsely) generalise that most people have them, but some repress them a long long way. It’s a generalisation that we learn very early in our socialisation that it’s never he loud guys who are dangerous.

    1. I don’t think people are actively repressing them Dan. In the same way 99% of people don’t remotely think about their own death day in day out because they are able to keep that knowledge remote from their everyday functioning, so be it for other whacked out thoughts. I do also think there is an issue of possessing the language to be able to articulate such complex/difficult notions, just consider how we all talk – repetitions, deviations, elisions, ums and ahs – sometimes language just collapses under the weight of expression. Particularly where difficult emotions are concerned. (It’s endlessly amusing to me how poorly we are served in vocabulary for words to describe specific emotions, as against certain states such as ‘drunk’).

      I agree with the several commentators who have said all writers of any worth write ineluctable truth, confessional or not. Because we are drawing on our own emotional truth (even if the perceptions such truths are based on are less solidly based in fact).

      My understanding that the etymology of ‘confess’ in part contains the notion of ‘to admit’. So I think there is a definite qualitative difference between confessional and non-confessional art. I admit absolutely nothing! I am always laying false trails to cover up just who I am, even as I’m scraping the peelings off my frontal cortex and laying it everyone as art.I have a fair idea of the relationship of me to my work and my characters. I hope I’m putting others off the scent when it gets to that level.

      I’m unclear whether you Dan see this admission part as involved in calling your work confessional. I don’t think so, but I could be wrong. It seems to me something we both (all artists even) share, which is to get it out from persecuting our everyday thoughts. But then I’m not sure why it should be then elevated to the status of ‘confessional’.

      1. Reading both of your responses, I think you both illustrate some of the differences in each of our inner experiences and relationship to our writing. I also see this in the vast array of comments here. It has been fascinating to see how different our personal experiences (internally and externally) are and how we each relate to our writing accordingly.

        It illustrates a continuum from “confessional art” to trying to “putting others off the scent” but yet, all of us “drawing on our own emotional truth.”

        Thanks to you both for giving us all so much to think about!

  15. A friend and colleague once, and surely without trying to offend me, said she couldn’t write the stuff I write, because she would always feel obliged to write something that would provide the readers with enlightenment and insight, and she could never write simply for entertainment.

    Obviously, I am a lesser sort of being. *lol* I like to entertain.

    1. Hi Diandra,

      That is a very interesting comment from your friend. Too bad, most messages don’t get through unless there is entertainment value of some kind – even if it is to shock or scare.

      I like your lighthearted response to her comment!

  16. Well, I wrote a lengthy response and the ethers ate the comment so a Reader’s Digest version of my comment follows:

    A big ol’ yes to the intuitive influences of the collective unconscious and the morphic fields of resonance. I see many examples of this all the time.

    I write in many styles, genres and voices–from sweet to savage. Sometimes people don’t get it when I’m writing from the fringes. That’s okay, those pieces are written for me and the few other people who vibrate to the same chord, not the masses.

    When I was young, I did censor a little bit due to what others would think, but not a lot. The older I get, the less I censor. As I approach 60, the penalty for writing what I want, the way I want is less and less punitive. After all, what is anyone really going to do to me? Look at me funny? Oh, well! It’s happened before, it’ll happen again.

    My friends and family are used to me not getting stuck in any one style or way of being. I write what I think and let the chips fall where they may. More often than not, they see my point. I don’t let them “Fence Me In.” Like the birthday card my niece-in-law gave me read: Another year older, another year weirder.

    1. Hi Ronda,

      “Another year older, another year weirder” LOL – that is great. You express a great comfort with what you write, and I applaud you!

      Yes, I think if you are approaching 60 it would be so much easier and you darn well have earned your freedom. I have a 90 year old second cousin who has this attitude in spades and she is going to do whatever her heart desires. I think it is a lesson to all of us, no matter the age.

      1. Dance like it’s your last chance, I always say. Cheers to your second cousin!

        1. Thanks Ronda! She is a spit fire and an inspiration!

  17. Great post Anne. Not too many people know I write. I don’t think I’ll talk about it much until I’m a lot further along in the process. Those looks are a big part of the reason why.

    Another is I work for a pretty conservative board. All of my stories have a romantic element to them, and I’m not sure I would be able to keep my job if they knew I was writing romantic ‘stuff’.

    Although it will be fun to explain steampunk to people 🙂

    1. Hi Jemi,

      It sounds like you have a lot of pressure to behave in particular ways. That is so sad that you may not be able to keep your job if those you work for knew you were writing romantic stuff. I have worked and attended college in very conservative circles in my early twenties, so I do understand what those restrictions are like. I certainly hope it will all work our for you!

      I have had to ask several times what steampunk is all about. I think I get it now. When I first encountered the term I thought it was romance/erotica (the steam) for naughty teenagers (the punks). Guess I was a little off.

  18. Everyone has said such brilliant things that I am now tongue-tied.

    I don’t write about real things that have happened to me or anyone I know. Several times people have asked in comments to my #fridayflash whether what I wrote actually happened. It’s always no.

    Fiction reading and writing is just a wonderful way to spend some time in a world where anything can happen in a wondrous way.

    My family doesn’t really read my stuff. Though the idea that one of them might, keeps me from going too crazy with language and situations.

    But maybe that’s something I should think about! 🙂

    1. Hi Marisa,

      I think you get so many comments asking you if the situations are real is because you are such an excellent writer. I know that I am always convinced that what you write is real because your characters always come to life so vividly for me.

      1. I second you on that Anne! 😀

  19. Thsi is a fascinating topic, Anne. On the one hand it drives me nuts that, yes, people DO judge me (how do you come up with THAT). On the other hand I am a 100% believer in confessional writing. So ALL my writing is “true”.

    I was having this discussion on a long walk to a reading we were doing last night with Daisy Anne Gree, whom many of you will know. We were walking by Hyde Park, and she pointed out the place where she witnessed someone die, which she turned into the very first piece of hers I read. Daisy, like me, believes in 100% truth (I love her slogan – “maybe there is no way to leave the world a better place and all we can do is tell the truth”) in writing (like me she suffers from a mental health condition one symptom of which is the intense build up of noise inside the ehad – so for both of us writing – scraping out that noise – HAS to be confessional.

    Which brings us to “truth” of course. Daisy writes fairytales about women who pluck out their eyes and slit their abusers’ throats; I write about women who flay their twin brothers and make diaries from the skin. Neither of us has actually done such a thing. Yet the stories are true. They express fundamental – and specific – truths about us.

    Of course, not all writing is confessional. I guess I want to add two points – 1. just because my writing is confessional doesn’t mean I once had a twin and now jot down poems on his/her vellum (I write my personal truth but I express it – I’m a writer, not an analyst) and 2. one thing that bothers both Daisy and I is when people say “that’s fiction, so it’s not true” – which is kind of the opposite concern, but equally important

    1. I’m not sure I understand confessional writing yet, but one thing I can say: all writing is true.

      Why so? Because it comes from someone’s mind, feelings and viewpoints. It depicts the characters feelings, etc. So it’s true; it exists and reflects we, humans, being fiction or not, confessional or not.

      I’m not sure if my writing is confessional, but I do share some of my character’s feelings. I’d love to kick some disrespectful wind-headed girl’s ass, for instance, heh, although I certainly wouldn’t even having the perfect opportunity and justification.

      I’m talking about my last #FridayFlash, “What’s It Like”, to where this wonderful discussion ended up linking.

      On the other hand, I wrote about people who actually like to kill. Am I a killer? Hell no!

      1. getting down to the nitty gritty – “all writing is true” or writing is honest expression of some experience or character – human truths – very good point

        A good point often lost on those that think the details of the story reflect a secret or character flaw in us. Kinda like the people who think that an actor has the characteristics and life experience of their role. ie. asking for medical advice from an actor who plays a doctor, or getting mad at an actor who does despicable things as his character on TV or in film

    2. Hi Dan,

      I’m so happy you stopped by. I now have the input and ideas from the two guys that inspired part of my post and whose opinions alway give me much to think about (you and Marc).

      You make some very good points about how you define confessional writing. Although the actual events & details may not have happened, the emotions and essence are true. That is a good description of the melding of ourselves with our imagery when we write.

      “that’s fiction, so it’s not true,” is a powerful statement about the many interpretations about what “true” actually means – such as “express fundamental – and specific – truths about us.

      You have added a lot of meat to this juicy bone!

  20. Recently I wrote a story about a pregnant homeless girl who falls down in a muddy field and dies (it was a #fridayflash story). That sounds really brutal, and I don’t claim to know what it’s like to carry a child. But I know what it’s like to feel like an orphan in the world, what it’s like to be cold, hungry, and to carry a load. I have sisters and have been close to women all my life – these are the things I drew on, so in a sense the girl was me. I tried to see the world from her point of view.

    Sometimes I write true stories and people think they’re fiction. Other times I write pure fiction and people think they’re autobiographical. I can’t figure out why people respond the way they do, but the only things I won’t write about are sensitive things that people close to me would recognize as being about them. It’s wrong for a writer to hurt people in the name of art.

    1. Hi Mark,

      Thanks for your comments! That is very insightful. You gave an excellent example of how stories are a combination of our experience, our capacity for empathy, imagination and something else we can’t always identify. And, it is so true that you just never know how people are going to react.

      I soooo agree that keeping out sensitive subject matter of those we know is very important!

  21. Brilliant post Anne.

    When I first started writing over 20 years ago, I chose a pseudonym because I knew I might write material that would upset people – dark subject matter and themes, a use of vernacular language etc. I had to appear in my own first play as the language put off other student actors.

    I have never curbed my writing to suit tastes. I do write for myself and hope and trust there’s an audience out there who might derive some interest from my artistic vision. I know it’s an iconoclastic one, but I do believe some people will take the plunge and follow me.

    As to my family. They all loyally read it and then hand it back with minimum comment. Maybe about it’s elaborateness of language or unsightly scenes around sex. But they indulge me by supporting me from a distance.

    I’m an only child. I’ve been observing people since I was about nine years old when my parents involved me when they had dinner parties with their adult friends. I became an adult to an delinquent parent as we swapped roles, again an immersion in emotional observation & even low-level counselling from an early age. Maybe that has something to do with my singularity of mind in this sphere.

    I view myself as a writer 24-7. it keeps me awake at night sometimes. I do have a family and the intensity of my writing doesn’t bleed into family life, precisely because I can write and get it out of my system. Both are the real me; a professional, observer-writer me and the family-day job me. That is the balancing act I assume most writers share.

    Thanks again for your touchstone article.

    Marc

    1. Marc,

      Thanks so much for your comments. I have read what you and Dan have written about confessional art and other artistic concerns and it was some of the year zero posts that I kept in mind when writing this. I didn’t want the post to get too long and involved (although it probably did anyway), and I tried to keep the theory out of it, but I didn’t want to leave certain points out. I probably should have split it into a few posts, but was afraid points would be lost.

      Thanks for sharing your history and observations about these issues. I greatly appreciate your writing and commitment to stay true to your artistic vision. And, the year zero writers are great examples of this, too. It does not go unnoticed! It is very encouraging to me to watch what all of you do and how you go about it.

      1. Ha thanks Anne. The only thing I’d add is that I don’t do confessional art. Writing is therapy because it lets me blow off steam. But it doesn’t wreak change in me of any significant degree, or at least I don’t believe it does. It might do if I ‘made’ it and had to do proper signings and readings in rooms above basement level, but I may never find out. But I don’t feel a need as Dan has stated he does whereby the stakes are much higher for him. It’s something he and I are always wrangling about.

        For me writing is a process of getting in touch with those parts of my psyche that don’t get much of a look-in during the every day of life. That’s what keeps it fresh for me. I honestly believe no matter how worked on, a writer can only write about themselves; even if they are drawing on something they’ve seen happen to others, they’ve still internalised it sufficiently to have become part of their own experience to want to write it.

        1. Yes, I did see your discussions with Dan and I appreciate your wranglings very much – it gives me a lot to think about.

          I like that idea of “writing is a process of getting in touch with those parts of my psyche that don’t get much of a look-in during the every day of life.” I can relate to that as an exploration – which is a big part of writing for me – exploring places I don’t usually take the time to visit. Our brains can get so stale with routine and habit – burning the same neuro-pathways into a deep groove of boredom. Fiction writing blasts out the crusty chunks and is our chance to take risks and explore without even leaving home.

  22. Very interesting article, Anne. I admit that I censor myself. I have friends with YA who read my stuff and religious friends. I direct them to my nicer blog and works. For my more adult material, I have another blog. Do my religious friends cross over and read my naughtier stuff. Some may have. They know it’s out there. I’ve told them so and there is a content warning posted on my RF site now. As for the actual writing, I just write what’s in my head and heart. If there is material that could be considered weird (or objectionable) I can’t help that any more than I can help breathing. I wish I could get my friends to understand that instead of having to explain when they ask: “What were you thinking when you wrote that?” It’s never that simple, it it?

    Thanks for a great thought-provoking article.

    1. Thanks Maria,

      I see that several writers have tried to manage content by using more than one website. And, the content warnings may help too (or entice, depending on the person). As writers we have so many sides to our lives and taking risks is part of the fun.

      Being asked to explain or justify our writing is never good. I sigh at the thought of it. Congrats for you for staying true to your heart!

  23. Very interesting post. I just had a conversation about this yesterday, specifically about people thinking that fiction is somehow based in truth. I have sometimes written about difficult situations only to have readers express sympathy or give advice on what I should do.

    I try not to censor my writing as I think that honest writing is always more interesting to read, but I do sometimes wonder what people will think.

    1. Hi Laurita,

      I see you have encountered some weird comments. I have seen and experienced similar comments from people who are not writers. There seems to be the perception that is you write about it (even if it is fiction), then it must somehow be based on experiences in your real life. Sometimes they act as though you have let out some of the secrets of your life and nothing say really clears it up. It is an odd phenomenon to me. Maybe there is just too much reality TV, which is actually fiction – no one can tell the difference anymore.

      I agree that honest writing, with passion and interest, is much more engaging and powerful. You do amazingly well with that!

  24. On some level, I’ve always been aware of the implications you’ve suggested-great article by the way and fantastic art. On a less generalized level, I feel compelled to combine the mythology from my multifaceted ethnic identity. The trolls from Norway, the Jewish Golems, Tunkukush and Loogaroo from the Canadian Metis (Chippewa)…

    Even if my appearance and sense of cultural norms cause me conflict in real life, in the fantasy world they mesh perfectly and the characters address interpersonal issues rather than identity frustrations. That forms one part of my creative freedom, I can look at my story and say: I AM THAT. I don’t care if look Latina or Italian or whatever. I can ignore family demands that I identify with one side or another.

    Through my stories I am free to be a whole person.

    Thank you for asking this question.

    1. Hi Carrie, thanks for the comments.

      What a lovely description of your writing and your world. How wonderful to feel free and like a whole person through your writing! I think that is what we are all striving for!

    2. Carrie, I heart your genre of choice and the cultural mixture you decided to make.

      Through my stories I am free to be a whole person.

      This gave me the goosebumps. Couldn’t have said better. 🙂

  25. I can’t tell you ho wmuch I appreciate this article. As a writer and performing storyteller who covers a diverse range of material, I struggle with a sense of not belonging to any one genre and have often been told I need to “find a niche.” I don’t want a niche, I like being able to be many different characters through many different kinds of fiction.
    It’s heartening reading that I’m not the only one and, in fact, I can remember that this broad-ranging creativity is in face a kind of creative freedom. Thanks!
    @storylaura
    http://www.truestorieshonestlies.blogspot.com

    1. Hi Laura, thanks for reading and commenting!

      I’m glad you had a new sense of creative freedom from reading this – that is great. Yeah, there are a few of us out there that just don’t settle in to a genre – @TonyNoland is another writer who brilliantly switches genres whenever he pleases. I guess you could say that our niche is no niche.

      1. I could no more limit myself to one genre than I could limit myself to one kind of food, or give up margaritas, manhattans and mai-tais for martinis (and nothing but).

  26. Great post Anne, and too many good questions to answer, heh.

    But I’d like to share with you this: I don’t refrain myself in my writing. If a character demands bad wording to be well portrait, I’ll curse as many times as it’s necessary, but never in excess. My next piece for #StoryCraft challenge is a good example of it.

    I like when people describe me and my writing as cute, but from my last #FridayFlash, you can see that I can put gore in my writing too.

    My family hates horror, so they won’t read Zombie Walk, even if I tell them it’s humorous. I knew that before writing it and this didn’t prevent my having a challenging and fun writing experience.

    You, my dear, and the other great friends I’m making on twitter, make the role of your supportive husband for me.

    I appreciate this more than you all can imagine!

    That said, keep the creative juices/energies whatever flowing! 😀

    1. Oh, yes, to answer your question, it’s not because I write about a killer that I have an innate urge to hurt people.

      I think that’s a “duh” answer to the writers, but not necessarily to the readers. People do make too many assumptions, sadly.

      Now, ask me if I care? hhe 😛

    2. Hi Mari,

      Your recent horror story gave me the idea to write this post. I was remembering my thoughts when I wrote my first creepy horror story & published it online. This is also a post that I had in my head for a long time, since I began writing fiction.

      I always seem to have these questions roaming around my head when I come up with new ideas for stories. Luckily,the critical party-pooper voices are getting much more quiet as time goes by. Being part of our wonderful online writing community has helped me immensely.

      I can’t wait to see your next story, what is that hashtag you are doing – #StoryCraft? I thought you were in a class/lit group locally. You find so many new hashtags to join.

      1. Ohhh, I’m so honored! *doing crazy dance* 😀

        critical party-pooper voices LOL LOL I’d so like to say this aloud to some people, lol. I’m glad that your party-pooper voices are more quiet now. You do good by turning your attention to hubby and us, heh. *hugs*

        #StoryCraft is a new twitter chat that happens every Sunday at 5pm EST, I think. Or it’s 6pm, but I’m close enough.

        This chat’s main focus is to discuss the craft of writing. The weekly challenges are an absurdly AWESOME idea to help honing the craft.

        Here’s how it works: each week there’s a topic, which is the challenge’s topic as well. People post their entries on #StoryCraft blog and some of us gives suggestions and share ideas. Much like #FridayFlash, in this sense.

        The week before the topic was dialogue, so we had to write a flash fiction using only dialogue and action. No telling, no description was allowed, not even inner dialogue. That gave birth to my “Cliffs and Girls”.

        Last week’s topic was about exposition (telling). We had an editor as special guest and this week she’ll judge the entries and give her book (ebook version) to
        the winner. I hope she critiques the other entries too.

        This week challenge is writing a 200 word flash using “good exposition” as she puts it. There are examples at #StoryCraft blog, as well as the chat’s transcriptions to clarify the idea. Here’s the link:

        http://narrativedisorder.com/storycraft

        Hey, there’s still time to enter! ;P

        I’d like to invite everyone to this chat and challenge. It’s fun and helpful, and there are many people who could profit from your experience (including me, heh).

        Will we meet there? 🙂

        1. Thanks for the info – that sounds like a brilliant exercise and great fun!

  27. “Science Fiction, then you are out of touch with reality, a strange geek and antisocial?”
    Yes! (Though fantasy rather than SF). Couldn’t have put it better myself.

    1. heehee! Hi Richard – yeah, it is all tongue in cheek!

  28. The only family member or friend that I know irl that likes my writing is my son. Everyone else thinks it’s too dark, even though I write mostly humorous weird stories. So my son encourages me, but since I’m writing mostly for myself I don’t really bother censoring too much. I might as well enjoy myself; right?

    I always enjoy reading your articles. 🙂

    1. Hi,

      You definitely should enjoy yourself – if we aren’t, what is the point.

      I think it helps to preserve some of our creative freedom when we don’t have input into our writing by those that aren’t interested or that we know will not provide constructive feedback.

      You are a good example to your son on how to follow your own path!

  29. Well, this post made me think! I suppose subconsciously I must include elements of my own personality in my writing and characters, but it’s not something I ever do with deliberate intent.

    I’ve written mainly horror and fantasy so far, what that says about my personality, I have no clue; enlightenment anyone, please?

    I didn’t write anything for years, partly because I didn’t think anything I had to say was good enough, and partly because of comments received at school about my creative writing. The stories I write now were begun primarily for myself, and to see if I could still do it.

    I have found I am less concerned now about whether others like my work than I used to be, I think this is something that comes upon us all as we develop as writers. When I started writing again, I made a caonscious decision not to edit my content so as not to offend, though I did add a content warning to one piece I posted, the comments on which proved I was worrying about nothing. I write whatever catches my imagination, though not all of it gets posted.

    The opinions of readers and fellow writers mean the most to me, I still have an awful lot to learn about the craft, so constructive advice is always welcome. I’m not averse to stroking me own ego either when I receive a glowing comment on my work; who is? 😉

    Creative freedom? Yes, I think I have that, inasmuch as I have no-one dictating what I can and can’t write, no agent/editor/publisher (sigh!) to satisfy, and no deadlines other than my self-imposed “I will post on a Friday” deadline to follow. It’s fun to spread my literary wings and see from the feedback to my work what works and what doesn’t.

    1. Hi Sam,

      It is a little freeing to be a Fridayflash writer because we have a wonderfully supportive group. And, there is such a great range of genres, pretty much whatever you write fits in.

      I am also primarily writing for myself at this point, early in my fiction career. It takes creative freedom to experiment, try new things and take risks when we are first starting. I want to follow intuition and see where it takes me. I don’t have the patience to write for anyone else right now.

      I think you have definitely proved you can still write – your stories never cease to amaze.

      1. Intuition, yes, and the Muse. I’m just happy to go wherever inspiration takes me too. Thanks for those kind words about my writing – with hindsight, I can’t beleieve it took me so long to try writing again.

        Would I be right in wondering if this post was why you asked me a while ago who in my family reads my stuff? Apologies for not replying to that comment at the time. My Other…I mean Better Half sometimes reads my stories, the rest of the family seem to have better things to do!

        1. No, I don’t think I was asking at the time about who was reading your stories. I think I was wondering what your kids thought of your stories. My kids want to read my stuff, but usually it is inappropriate for them, or they don’t understand it and ask me, “do your adult friends understand this?” They want me to write fantasy so they can enjoy my writing. Maybe I will come up with something for the younger set one of these days.

          1. Ah, right, sorry, I’m with you now. My daughter has read a couple of the early UCF stories, mainly because she is the inspiration for Twinkle I suspect; she wanted to know how closely I’d based the character on her, and whether Dad was being embarrassing or not!

            She also likes my First Foot vampire, and my wife said she enjoyed the feline conspiracy stories, maybe she was just being polite. 😉

            I must admit to enjoying writing fantasy, I read loads of it growing up, that and sci-fi, I also played role-playing games for around fifteen years, so suspending my belief in a fantasy setting is something I find comes naturally. I suppose that’s why I love writing the UCF Stories so much – I have to stick to the rules when the Pixies are in the mortal realm, but in the magical realm I’m free to do whatever I want to. I also like being able to challenge stereotypes of magical creatures; I’m feeling my way with this at the moment.

            I am considering writing some sci-fi as this is a genre I enjoy, but isn’t something I’ve ever written. Whether my family would enjoy such a story, I really don’t know.

          2. I am responding to Sam, up above – looks like my comments won’t allow another layer – Oh yes, we would all love to read some SciFi from you. Your fantasy stuff is so good, and you have definitely succeeded in “challenging stereotypes of magical creatures.” I think that is why your UCF and First Foot are such big hits!

          3. Thanks so much, Anne. I think that, now I’ve written 10 installments of the UCF Stories, I understand what writers say about their characters being like real people to them. Swazzle & Pogmorton certainly feel real to me, which makes it so easy to write them; they write a lot of the stories themselves.

            I really quite fancy writing a couple of sci-fi stories – I have a wealth of material to draw upon from a long-running RPG game I played in, sadly now defunct. I am consious though of not wanting to write fan fiction based on that gameworld, so I guess it’ll take a bit of work to come up with a premise for the stories.

            I’d also like to return to my First Foot milieu, there’s still a wealth of material to write for that character.

            For some reason I feel more comfortable writing fantasy/sci-fi/horror, anything not 100% rooted in the (modern) mundane world.

          4. Sam – I think that’s the absolute divide in contemporary fiction, not genre divisions, but literature that looks to engage directly with the world (doesn’t have to be mundane by the way) and fiction which looks to escape from the shackles of the real world. Each have absolutely equal validity, but I always wonder why writers don’t ask themselves where this need to escape from reality stems from?

          5. Marc – that’s a very interesting question you pose. I agree with you, now I’ve thought about what you said. Only speaking for myself, I like the freedom of writing tales that escape from the real world, I wonder if it’s because there are aspects of the real world I do not like, but as a single individual have no power to change?

            By the same token, I also enjoy writing that is based upon real world mechanics, but goes a little farther than “ordinary life” for want of a better term. I wonder sometimes my reasoning for this is not more of what I mentioned above?

          6. Sam I don’t think it matters or what the justification for what we choose to write is. But I do think a writer ought to probe these questions for themselves in private. Who knows what it may open up for them and their craft?

          7. Yes, Sam – I think your First Foot was one of the first stories I saw from you, and I’d be looking forward to seeing some more from you along those lines, as well as your Driftwood piece. The pixies are in a league of their own 😉

          8. Josie – Thank you! I enjoy writing the Pixies as I have total freedom with them; it’s wonderful escapism. First Foot and Driftwood on the other hand, are rooted in the real world, at least to some extent and illustrate the point I was trying (none to eloquently, I suspect) to make in my reply to Marc – First Foot is, to me, a real world+ kind of milieu, I am intrigued by the idea of there being more to this world/life than most people are routinely aware of. Driftwood is more rooted in what I refer to as the mundane, though even here I feel there are opportunities for magic and monsters to be real; I haven’t made a decision whether to include any fantasy elements in the Driftwood world, yet.

  30. Wow, I just realized that I’m a total snob. When it comes to caring about what others think of me given the theme and genre of what I write I’ve been oblivious. The butterflies in my stomach have claws when I wonder how well my writing connects with a reader or if I’m doing the story justice but I never really thought about how my writing might reflect on me as its writer. The voice inside shrugs its shoulders and says, “It’s just fiction.”

    I’ve learned that what we read is actually a great deal more about the reader than the writer. Each reader takes a different story away from the same book. That makes me very aware that my readers opinion mirrors them more than it does me. I admit that I put a part of myself into every one of my characters. I live vicariously through them. But I’m this side of schizophrenia because I know I am not my characters.

    Then again, it helps that I know I am crazy. It makes it normal and expected when everyone else agrees. 😉

    1. Hi Rebecca,

      You are definitely right about how the reader takes from our writing what they see in themselves. That is a very astute observation. That awareness would definitely help writers not take some comments about their writing so personally.

      Now, if only the readers also knew that.

      Thanks for your comments!!

  31. These are interesting thoughts. I must admit that I self-censor my writings to an extent, knowing that friends and family members read them. Mostly, it’s due to the fact that the bug-eyed reaction of “I didn’t realize you even KNEW language like that!” is odd. I guess I’m sedate and mild mannered enough in real life that the, uh, “scope” of my prose is surprising.

    1. Hi Tony,

      It is different for each of us based on how much people we know actually read what we write. That is interesting, so your real life persona is very sedate and mild mannered – I could have guessed that – and the reactions of others to your writing must be a little fun, non?

      1. Ah, so much for my air of mystery! The reactions can be a little off-putting, but since I rarely speak the way I write, it’s not too hard to maintain a dissociation between the two.

        1. Isn’t that an interesting observation – I think a lot of us are very different in writing than we are in real life.

          (BTW – I also mentioned you down below in comments to Laura Packer)

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