Living With Live Wires

Our society thinks it is wonderful to reward athletes, musicians, actors, and artists.  Entire industiries spend billions of dollars on these fields.  But what about the intellectually gifted?  They get mixed messages.

It’s good to be smart . . . as long as you’re not too smart.  Too smart makes you a nerd, an egghead, and a teacher-pleaser.  It can even make you a target for suspicion, resentment, and open hostility.  

It’s good to get high grades . . as long as you don’t talk about them.  That’s bragging, and besides, you might injure someone else’s self-esteem.  

It’s good to score high on tests . . as long as you keep this fact to yourself, or within your small circle of similarly brainy friends. When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers, Jim Delisle, Ph.D., & Judy Galbraith, M.A. (2002).

It seems the only time it is “cool” to look smart is when you are applying for college.  So many services help students score higher on tests and write superior essays to get admitted to desireable colleges.  Everyone seems to brag when they get into a prestigious school, but what about the rest of the time?  Is being smart only desireable when it can get you what you want?

It’s the mixed messages and skewed perceptions of giftedness that make the label more of a burden than a blessing.  It’s the insensitive, uninformed comments from teachers, peers, and/or parents that make gifted kids want to downplay, deny, or hide their giftedness. When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers, Jim Delisle, Ph.D., & Judy Galbraith, M.A. (2002).

Help Children Find What They Love to Do. 

Teachers must help gifted children find what excites them to unleash their best creative performances. In the investment metaphor, one needs to find an area in which to invest about which one feels some excitement, so that one will do what one can to maximize the value of one’s investments.

Helping children find what they really love to do is often hard and frustrating work. Yet, sharing the frustration with them now is better than leaving them to face it alone later.  To help children uncover their true interests, teachers can ask them to demonstrate a special talent or ability for the class, and explain that it doesn’t matter what they do (within reason), only that they love the activity.  (Sternberg)

Help Children Build Self-Efficacy.

Many people eventually reach a point where they feel as if no one believes in them. Because creative work often doesn’t get a warm reception, it is extremely important that creative people believe in the value of what they are doing. This is not to say that individuals should believe that every idea they have is a good idea. Rather, individuals need to believe that, ultimately, they have the ability to make a difference.

The main limitation on what children can do is what they think they can do. All children have the capacity to be creators and to experience the joy associated with making something new, but first they must be given a strong base for creativity. (Sternberg)

Sometimes teachers and parents unintentionally limit what children can do by sending messages that express or imply limits on children’s potential accomplishments. Instead, adults need to help children believe in their own ability to be creative.

Robert Sternberg has found that the best predictor of success among children is not their ability, but their belief in their ability so succeed.

Note – this is not empty praise or unrealistic expectations of potentials.

Carol Dweck , who wrote Mindset: The new Psychology of Success, a very good resource to read to learn better ways to encourage gifted children. She discusses a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset. She encourages adults to use praise cautiously and correctly.