At this point in our home school experience, and in our home life, with seven (almost eight) year olds motivation for a path of mastery, discipline and communication are my main concerns.

I offer small rewards to my children for some of their school work. But I have established a long wait and a huge amount of work to earn the reward. I work on their delayed gratification whenever I can.

Quite often it is hard to get them started with their lessons, but after addressing their emotional needs and enticing them with some sort of motivating activity, they get going. When they get started with their work, they enjoy the process – And, I make it a point to talk about that – noting their fun, enjoyment and excitement about learning whenever it is evident.

One way we help them look at the long-term process of mastery is with a celebration when they reach certain milestones

We give them small presents, write award certificates, and read them at a ceremony once or twice a year. This time also includes their favorite foods and a small family party. We take care to tell them the positive things about who they are and how much work they put into their learning.  It is important that the emphasis be not just based on accomplishment, but on effort and character. Additionally, this is a time for us to celebrate our family legacy.

Another one of my main concern at this point in promoting a path of mastery – is discipline and communication.

In our life, that means creating clear expectations, communicating them to the kids, and consistently holding those standards when reasonable.

Isn’t it great when those things work? You can relish those moments.

In our life with gifted kids, the communication portion becomes key. It usually means having long discussions to answer all the questions – Why? What if…? Why should I do that? What if I do something different? How about this way, or that way? Why don’t you consider this? I know a better way you can do it? I have other things I want to do and this is why? Lets talk about it some more. And, our latest challenge is the reply after a lengthy discuss of – Well, I just don’t want to…

And, it also means that there are circumstances that require extra attention to the child’s sensitivities of the situations. Our son often gets overwhelmed by so many things – by his physical environment, by taking too many trips out of the house, being around too many people, being around the wrong kind of people, eating the wrong foods, getting overwhelmed by what he is doing.

It means we have to deal with all of our intensities, our areas of superabundance, referred to by Dabrowski as “overexcitabilities.” This can sometimes feel like just “too much” which is how overexcitabilities are described by others. They can refer to you or your child as just too sensitive, too energetic, too smart, too excitable.

Like everyone, my children each have their particular style of discouragement and frustration. Sometimes I have success helping them turn it around. Sometimes they need to just express and discuss those feelings, take a break and do something else, or just rest.

The extra time we have in home school has provided us with the opportunity to go through these experiences from beginning to end. To come out on the other side with more compassion for ourselves, our own difficulties and each other.

I get a personal thrill when I see my children deeply involved in projects that last hours and sometimes days. It reassures me that they are practicing the path of mastery and can feel that enjoyment in each moment of the timeless flow of energy. They can experience the intrinsic motivation and all without my help. I also know that this flow of energy is transferable to other areas and I just need to be a creative motivator to help it transfer.

[excerpt from my Minnesota Council for the Gifted and Talented State Conference presentation: Don't Fence Me In - Mastery, Creativity, and Adventure in the Home Education of Bright Children]