…there is a general ambivalence in our schools and in society about gifted children, and they are often criticized for the very things that make them what they are (sensitive, intense, etc.). Both at home and at school, they hear, “You’re too sensitive! You’re too intense! You have a strange sense of humor! Do you always have to be creative? Why do you have to question every rule?” What is a child to make of criticisms like these? He may believe these messages and decide that something is wrong with him. Webb, et. al. (2007) A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children.
You may appreciate your gifted child’s advanced abilities, but it can be difficult and challenging to have a child that is always outside the norm. Parenting books describing “normal” behavior for most children usually don’t fit gifted children. They seem to be on a developmental path all their own. Many gifted children reach developmental milestones much earlier than most children. They may have one or more subjects in school that they are learning much faster than those in the middle of the learning curve. Gifted children often process logical thinking and abstract ideas at a younger age. And, they react to stimuli with more sensitivity.
To help and support a gifted child, it is vitally important to realize that they ARE thoroughly different, they are not just smarter than other kids. Next, you must understand HOW they are different, because gifted children are vastly different from each other as well.
Oftentimes a gifted child is far above the normal development curve in one or more areas. If you are to follow traditional advice in parenting books, you will not find help in the section that speaks to your child’s chronological age. Your child may be ahead in some academic areas, at grade level in others and maybe behind in social and emotional development. This is the definition of asynchonous development.
If you seek help from educators who are not experienced with giftedness, they may say,
”Your child is a child first, and the giftedness is secondary and only a part of him.” But the giftedness is integral to the child; it affects everything he thinks, feels, says, and does. It is a key to who he is. A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children, James T. Webb, Ph.D., et.al., (2007).
You cannot separate out the gifted aspects of your child. They are not a child with gifted tendencies, they ARE a gifted child with a complex set of unique traits and special needs. All of which do not fit neatly into the normal development curve.
Once you fully accept that your child is gifted and that they will always be unique, you can see them for the wonderful, amazing child that they are. Together, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and learning together.